When I had widowhood thrust upon me at 51 I never thought I would date again. Kevin was my best friend, my confidante, my partner in all things. No way could anyone ever hold a candle to him and I wasn’t even interested in trying.
But some years later I met someone and embarked on a new relationship. After being together for awhile the relationship wasn’t going well. In fact, it had been a disaster in many ways. I knew it wasn’t the right relationship for me, but I hesitated ending it. I was tired of being lonely, and while everything wasn’t rosy we also had a lot of good times, too. It was a mixed bag, as many relationships are. So very different from the one I had with Kevin, which was for me a love story for the ages.
One afternoon I was alone in my home thinking about what to do, or what not to do. I looked outside and there on the telephone line was a squirrel – just lying on the line. As you know from our book, Beyond Ever After, signs from Kevin often involve a squirrel. I went outside and stood under the telephone line and started talking to the squirrel. It just sat on the line listening to me pouring out my heart. I pulled up an Adirondack chair, got comfortable, and tears were involved. I cried my heart out to that fuzzy little thing for several minutes.
After I was all cried out I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and the message that while I may be lonely at times, that I was never alone. That he (Kevin) was always with me and still held me in loving, albeit invisible, arms. But more importantly, that the source that made all of it possible (God for me) had my back. That I didn’t need to be afraid of being lonely because I was never alone.
That afternoon I ended the relationship and within a few days I was on a road trip with my son who was heading off to college in a few months.
Months later I saw a story about a man who built a picnic table for squirrels. I wanted to get one so that the next time I needed to pour my heart to a squirrel he has a comfortable place to sit and something to snack on. I think Kevin would like it.